Saturday, March 28, 2015

gone

I didn't know how we would make it ...............how we would make it through the upcoming months, including the summer, and the months and years to come..... how I would manage to take care of all of the things that needed to be taken care of, and to also take care of you (and keep you happy at the same time)....

And now, suddenly, when we least expected, with so much warning, and yet without any warning, its over, and you are gone.


******************************************************

You have suddenly been set free -- and so have I.

******************************************************

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Missing

I look in on the nanny cam and you aren't there.
Oh no.  He has gone to bed before dinner, I think.
I call on the telephone.
No answer.
I call again.
No answer.

I drive to your place. The door is unlocked. I walk into your unit.  The television is on, but you aren't there.

I look everywhere, even behind the bed, even in the closet - on the chance that perhaps you collapsed somewhere.

"Dad, Dad?!  Are you here? Dad! ", I call out.

I look again at the motion detector - I see the images of you leaving at 6:15 - only 30 minutes ago.

Maybe he went to get the mail, I think, as I quickly exit the apartment, heading toward the mailbox.
But, I get there, only to find you are not there.  You are not in the lobby.
I get back on the elevator and head to the 11th floor.  I know there was a party there yesterday that you missed, as you insisted the party was today.  Maybe you were going to the party.
But the 11th floor is quiet, the party room is dark.
I return to your apartment.  You are still not there.

Where could he be, I think to myself.  This has never happened before.

Once again, I decide to hit the hallways.
I go to the exit stairwell and look inside.  You are not there.
I turn around and head back toward the elevators, walking slowly,  AND LISTENING.

I had heard some voices inside one of the units where the TV is often playing loudly.  It almost sounded like a party in there.

Again, I LISTEN.

And, there it is............the familiar sound of your voice, talking.  I move toward the door - Is he in there, I think?
A woman walks by as I try to act nonchalant, knowing I am out of place, standing outside the door of this stranger.

Again, I hear your voice.  Its moving closer, and you open the door.   I say "Oh there you are!  Do you want to come and have some dinner?" (as if it is normal to find you in the apartment of a stranger).

You say, "I couldn't get my TV channel on"

You have the television clicker in your hand.  You had gone to the neighbors seeking help with the TV .
We get back to your apartment and I realize that it is channel 2 playing.  This is not your channel.

************************

I can only now hope that the neighbor wasn't suspicious of the incompetence you displayed, and that he saw it as innocent enough, not worthy of reporting.


Saturday, February 21, 2015

what day did they give up?

"tomorrow is Sunday, you know," I say to you.

"Tomorrow is Sunday?", you express with surprise.

"What day did they give up?"


Saturday, February 14, 2015

birthday



Happy Birthday - 84 years old.

The special cake plate was your mother's.  It had always been used  when you were a little boy, for cake presentation. That memory still means so much today, as you have told several of us of it, repeatedly, over the years.

The special angel food cake was made by your new favorite girl - Your PCA -  whose name you suddenly remembered today, as you spoke of how kind it was of her to make the cake; as if you have remembered her name all along.

http://seniorfraud.blogspot.com/2015/02/our-girl.html

"Did you know she's from Canada?", you say to me.

*************************************

I see you studying the birthday cards, each and every one, very carefully, pondering who would have sent a birthday card.

Several are from people you don't know well - and this seems to interest you the most...
-- the one from the lady on the 2nd floor (who is probably the floor representative in the senior condo
-- the one from the Condo association


**************************************

Some ladies apparently showed up at the door, to wish you happy birthday, too.

Who were they?

Presumably ladies from the building, perhaps from the floor.


*********************************

"How old am I going to be?" you used to ask me, as we anticipated this birthday.

Then, once the birthday finally came, you would say, "How old am I now?" And, when I would tell you, I could see there was a certain satisfaction, that you had made it to the mark.  I could see you internally acknowledge the fact, the target.  It was the kind of satisfaction, that in retrospect, now that we know you would die one month later, also said "I am satisfied with where I have gotten, and I don't need anymore".

As numbers would mean things to you, February 13, 1931 date of Birth.  March 14, 2015 date of death.  You would like the way those numbers played out.



Saturday, February 7, 2015

the sweater and other clothing tales

You are wearing a red sweater over your shirt today.  Its a very plain burgandy red sweater, I would say it is unisex in appearance.

"She brought me this sweater and told me to put it on today", you tell me.  "it was a little coolish in the room this morning".

"That's a nice sweater", I say.  "you have lots of nice clothes, if you would just wear them."

(remember, this is an old retired clothing merchant we are talking to.  There was a time when the dinner table conversation was about bras and suits and who is a size 16 and who is a size 12.  Sadly, it is rare today to see you take any interest in clothing on yourself, or anyone else).

You smirk, "do you know what this sweater is?"

"No", I say.

"I got this sweater at the store down there" (you point out the window).

Ah yes, we went through a phase, soon after you move to the condo, where you regularly went shopping at the Goodwill shop down the street.  You especially liked Senior's day, which I believe was Wednesdays, when there was small extra discount for seniors.

"It was so cheap, I had to buy it.  But, I looked at the label, and did you know? Its a women's sweater".

"Oh so its a woman's sweater but you decided to wear it anyway?".

"yes" (and you are amused by this)


*******************************************


"That's' a nice coat you are wearing, really cute", you notice.

I am wearing a new Betsy Johnson walking coat - in navy blue with blossom shaped rose gold buttons and beautiful pink and blue lining.

This observation and comment is noteworthy because of where we have been, and because of the significant improvement toward your old person that the statement represents.

******************************************


"We ran into to the lady down the hall today", you tell me.  "She is a former stewardess you know and she has quite a wardrobe. She was wearing an A line dress"

An A line dress.  Yes, that is the old merchant talking again.

***********************

All attributed to improvements in your mental state, attributed to "our girl", your new PCA
http://seniorfraud.blogspot.com/2015/02/our-girl.html

channel 43

Channel 43 is your favorite TV channel.
http://seniorfraud.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-golden-girls.html

On the table next to your chair, there is a taped piece of paper with large letters "43", just in case you forget which station you like.

Today when I arrive, the room is quiet. The TV is not on.  You have been reading.

Now you realize that usually when I am there, Family Feud is on the TV.  We have come to enjoy watching Family Feud together.  Even I, who typically would never watch a game show, can now easily spend 10-15 minutes watching Family Feud.

"Turn the TV on  - channel 63 ", you tell me.

I am standing with the clicker, trying to get the system to obey.

I press 4 and then 3.  Up pops channel 33.

"yes, channel 33", you say.

our girl

You call her "our girl".

She is your Personal Care Assistant/ Chef/ Nurse/Physical therapist/ Friend/ housekeeper/chauffeur/ The grand-daughter you never had.
Her presence has recently turned your life around.
You are cleaner.  You are happier.  You seem more relaxed.  You are nicer.
Every day you tell me how much you like her.

**********************************
we have had this same conversation many times:

"What is her name again?", you ask me.

"Sherrey", I say.

"What?"

"Sherrey", I say again.

"Sherrey?", you ask.

"Yes, Sherrey."

"how do you spell that?"

"S- H - E- R- R- E -Y".

"Sherrey?  Why can't I remember that?", you ask.

"We could write it down so you just have to look at it to remember it", I offer.

"Help me think of something else to remember it", you say.

"Sherrey Berry", I offer. "Sherry, like the wine", I try again.

"do you know where she is from?", you ask.

I tell you where she is from.

"Ok. Yes, I was just checking if you knew."

************************************

"We go for our walk, and it always seems to end with picking up the mail", you tell me.

"She has a thing for my mail", you muse, "but today there wasn't hardly anything".

You are lucky, I say.  All I get is mostly junk mail.

Little do you know, Sherrey is acting on my instructions to help keep you out of trouble in the building.  I have also put your name, address and phone number on every possible do not call, do not solicit list there is, and more than once.  I also do whatever I can to take revenge on the junk mail solicitors.

http://seniorfraud.blogspot.com/2014/09/stop-junk-mail-and-how-to-get-revenge.html

We are trying to blend in, not stir up controversy, because you want to stay here, remember???


****************************