why can't I use the microwave

"why can't I use the microwave?"  you ask me.

What you mean is that you can't seem to make it run.  You place your coffee cup inside, but when you go to press the buttons to run it, you can't make it run.

"You need to show me how to use the microwave".

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I give you a quick lesson on how to warm up a cup of coffee.  I place the cup in the microwave.

I set the time on 45 seconds.  I press start.  

This is all you need to do.

I actually don't believe you are able to choose the time anymore.  If we had a microwave that said "reheat coffee", and all you had to do was press that button , and start, it might work, but to have to enter a time, 45 seconds or even one minute, is probably beyond your current skill set.

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an interesting part of your dementia process has been the significant impact it has had on doing things mechanically with the hands or body.  This has resulted in significant problems in specific areas of daily living

- turning the TV on and off using a remote control clicker device

- changing the TV channel 

- using the telephone (especially if not the old fashioned rotary style)

- using alarm clocks

-using electric razor

Looking back, I remember how you used to get very angry with me when you were living alone on the prairie, and you had difficulties using your computer.  That was the beginning of the end.  You don't even try to use the computer now (which is a appropriate).

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I don't tell you that we had turned the electricity off to the microwave when we leave you alone.  

Its interesting how you never notice at all, as each time I come and go, I am flipping the switch for the microwave on the fuse box.  I am only 6 feet away from you doing this, every day, and you never notice.

We have done this since the fire.

http://seniorfraud.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-room-smells-like-smoke.html

empathy restored?

What a surprise yesterday when you called (which included dialing the phone all by yourself) to see how I was feeling, after I had been out sick for 4 days.

You are turning into a nice old man.

To God be the Glory.

The loss of empathy had been so apparent in the last 5+ years, I didn't expect to ever see it again.  During that time, if I got sick, or if something bad happened to me, it didn't faze you. You offered no condolences, didn't follow up, didn't give back anything.

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Loss of empathy is a common early symptom of specific forms of dementia, including the kind I think you have, which also included as earlier symptoms,  poor judgment, loss of insight.

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how much of this improvement in empathy is due to the fact you are getting coffee every morning since we hired a personal care attendant? Or is it due to the stabilizing impact/ improvement in all aspects of your well-being due to having the perfect  personal care attendant, who comes for only 2 hours/day?

My conclusion would be that 2 hours/day of kind focused support, starting in the morning,  can make a huge difference in maintaining "independence", and regaining empathy (humanity),  for a person with dementia (who would otherwise require assisted living or memory care, assuming they aren't wandering at night and they have sufficient mobility to not require more care)

For those seeking a cost-effective elder care solution, I can highly recommend this as the lst step.  It takes the pressure off the family and keeps the person more "independent" of family as well. It is far less expensive than an assisted living facility or nursing home, and YOU are the boss.

there are 2 caveats:
1.   we switch the appliance electricity on and off (discretely), so that you can't use the stove/ oven or microwave, unassisted.
2.  I wouldn't have dared to hire an assistant (for fear of their safety) in the earlier years when you were more aggressively misbehaving.  This is working now only due to your frailty and further memory loss.  Take home message: timing is everything.

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To God be the Glory.