You sit quietly reading, the left leg crossed over the right. There is a knock at the door. You stand up. The left foot is very slightly inverted. You take a step, lifting the left leg and it as though while the left leg is still off the ground you fall to the left. You are not hurt, but startled, lying on the floor. Luckily, I am on the other side of the door, immediately available to help.
*****************************************
I call the Walgreens as I am en route, inquiring if they have walkers. Yes, they have 3 varieties. I am on my way. I will be there in a few minutes.
********************************************************
The new walker does add some stability, you demonstrate that it helps. We practice sitting and standing several times. Eventually, I go home, and leave you to navigate by yourself. However, I continue to look in on the nanny cam. The left leg is crossed over the right. You sit quietly watching TV. Eventually, the left leg is uncrossed. You then lean forward, as though you are going to get up. You grab the walker, tip it on end, teetering on its front legs. You are inspecting it. The reading light that had been turned off 2 hours ago is turned on again. You then sit back, apparently engrossed in the TV. This sequence of events occurs several times.
Its after 10 PM. I call and say "uncross your leg, wait a few minutes to be sure your leg isn't asleep, and then go to bed". You say, "OK". We hang up. What you do next is disappointing. We hang up, you pick up the paper, and start to read, the left leg crossed over the right, the walker nearby, in waiting. As you have done so many times before, you make no attempt to follow my advice.
************************************
You finally went to bed around 2:30 AM on this night.
Showing posts with label independent living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label independent living. Show all posts
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
The Suit
Today you put on your good pants, a sport jacket and a tie, appearing fully dressed at 3:45 AM after only 5 hours of sleep.
Last night on your own you took a shower, an amazing feat for someone usually averse to any and all personal hygiene. In fact, just getting you to change socks, or into a different shirt has been a struggle for months.
Is it because of the Christmas party announcement, for the party you missed yesterday?
Or did you think you are going someplace else today?
Where are you hoping to go today?
It stirs in me both a deep sadness and a deep hope, to watch you wait, and to dress up for the party........waiting.
what are we all really waiting for anyway? what are you waiting for?
More and more I believe you are waiting to leave this earth - to be again with those you have loved the most, not with me here and now.
"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, and redemption of our bodies.". Romans 8: 22-23.
*****************************************************************************
Last night on your own you took a shower, an amazing feat for someone usually averse to any and all personal hygiene. In fact, just getting you to change socks, or into a different shirt has been a struggle for months.
Is it because of the Christmas party announcement, for the party you missed yesterday?
Or did you think you are going someplace else today?
Where are you hoping to go today?
It stirs in me both a deep sadness and a deep hope, to watch you wait, and to dress up for the party........waiting.
what are we all really waiting for anyway? what are you waiting for?
More and more I believe you are waiting to leave this earth - to be again with those you have loved the most, not with me here and now.
"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, and redemption of our bodies.". Romans 8: 22-23.
*****************************************************************************
I think one of those talking clocks, like they make for the blind, with announcements of the time every hour, might be a good thing for you. Why didn't I think of this before?
***************************************************************************
you wait all day, expecting something, looking so nice and clean in your good pants, nice shirt, and tie. What is it you were expecting today? Was it the party you missed yesterday? Was it a dream with expectations, hopes to meet a long lost friend, or perhaps to again see your wife? 12+ hours later, at 4:40 PM, you get up, and leave the room, re-emerging after 5 PM, wearing jeans.
I call en route. "How was your day today?" I ask.
"Fine. I am wearing jeans again." you tell me, without any further explanation.
When I arrive I find you in jeans.
You never let on that you were dressed up all day today, seemingly waiting for something important.
You never tell me what you were waiting for.
**************************************************************
"Do you ever get bored? ", I ask.
There is a long pause.
"No", you answer.
***************************************************************************
you wait all day, expecting something, looking so nice and clean in your good pants, nice shirt, and tie. What is it you were expecting today? Was it the party you missed yesterday? Was it a dream with expectations, hopes to meet a long lost friend, or perhaps to again see your wife? 12+ hours later, at 4:40 PM, you get up, and leave the room, re-emerging after 5 PM, wearing jeans.
I call en route. "How was your day today?" I ask.
"Fine. I am wearing jeans again." you tell me, without any further explanation.
When I arrive I find you in jeans.
You never let on that you were dressed up all day today, seemingly waiting for something important.
You never tell me what you were waiting for.
**************************************************************
"Do you ever get bored? ", I ask.
There is a long pause.
"No", you answer.
Monday, December 8, 2014
the door is open
Its 10 PM.
The room has been empty for the last hour.
Suddenly, I notice that the door is open. Its open maybe 6 inches.
What is going on? Why is the door open? Of course I start to worry. Did you go to get your mail and leave the door propped open like that?
Minutes later I look again and the door is open even wider. Now I can plainly see that you have propped the step stool in the doorway, to keep it open. You are back sitting in your chair. The TV is blaring loudly.
Its 10 PM. The TV is too loud to have the door open at this time of night. People will notice and complain. We are trying to blend in, remember??
I call you, making up a story, "I think I left the door open when I left there tonight. Can you check the door and make sure it is locked?"
"Yes, I will", you say. But I am watching you, and after we hang up, for a second you lean forward as if you are going to get out of the chair, but then you focus on the TV, engrossed. Within a minute, you settle back into the chair. Not once do you turn your head to even look at the open door.
Now what do I do? What are you thinking??? Its after 10 PM! I see the shadow of someone walk past the open door. You continue to watch TV.
*************************************************************
Its a cold winter night, but not as cold as it has been recently. We put on our coats, instead of our pajamas, and we head to your place. What am I going to say? Should I tell you there was a complaint about the door being open? Should I tell you I forgot something? Should I make up an eleborate story about why I am showing up after 10 PM?
No, I know that 10 PM to you is no different than 10 AM. Keep it simple. Get in. Get out. Shut the door.
******************************************************
"Oh -- you have the door open. What's going on? why do you have the door open?" I say.
"I forgot something", as I walk across the room and pretend to pick up the something I forgot.
"Its hot in here", you say.
"But you shouldn't have the door open. Its late. We can hear your TV out in the hallway", I say.
"So? I am sitting right here".
"Are you hot? Let me let in some cooler air. Lets turn down the heater. Lets turn down the furnace", as I open the patio door, then turn down the knob on the space heater, and head toward the wall thermometer for the furnace.
"Who asked you?", you say.
"Ok. Well, then I better be going. See you. Good night", I say, as I quickly exit the room, closing the door, and locking it.
***********************************************
I barely dare to look and see if you opened it again. Its potentially going to be a sleepless night.
The room has been empty for the last hour.
Suddenly, I notice that the door is open. Its open maybe 6 inches.
What is going on? Why is the door open? Of course I start to worry. Did you go to get your mail and leave the door propped open like that?
Minutes later I look again and the door is open even wider. Now I can plainly see that you have propped the step stool in the doorway, to keep it open. You are back sitting in your chair. The TV is blaring loudly.
Its 10 PM. The TV is too loud to have the door open at this time of night. People will notice and complain. We are trying to blend in, remember??
I call you, making up a story, "I think I left the door open when I left there tonight. Can you check the door and make sure it is locked?"
"Yes, I will", you say. But I am watching you, and after we hang up, for a second you lean forward as if you are going to get out of the chair, but then you focus on the TV, engrossed. Within a minute, you settle back into the chair. Not once do you turn your head to even look at the open door.
Now what do I do? What are you thinking??? Its after 10 PM! I see the shadow of someone walk past the open door. You continue to watch TV.
*************************************************************
Its a cold winter night, but not as cold as it has been recently. We put on our coats, instead of our pajamas, and we head to your place. What am I going to say? Should I tell you there was a complaint about the door being open? Should I tell you I forgot something? Should I make up an eleborate story about why I am showing up after 10 PM?
No, I know that 10 PM to you is no different than 10 AM. Keep it simple. Get in. Get out. Shut the door.
******************************************************
"Oh -- you have the door open. What's going on? why do you have the door open?" I say.
"I forgot something", as I walk across the room and pretend to pick up the something I forgot.
"Its hot in here", you say.
"But you shouldn't have the door open. Its late. We can hear your TV out in the hallway", I say.
"So? I am sitting right here".
"Are you hot? Let me let in some cooler air. Lets turn down the heater. Lets turn down the furnace", as I open the patio door, then turn down the knob on the space heater, and head toward the wall thermometer for the furnace.
"Who asked you?", you say.
"Ok. Well, then I better be going. See you. Good night", I say, as I quickly exit the room, closing the door, and locking it.
***********************************************
I barely dare to look and see if you opened it again. Its potentially going to be a sleepless night.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
vacant
"How was your day today?", I ask.
"Vacant", you say.
**************************************************************
The sad thing is that the word vacant is very accurate .
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Ring Ring Ring
The phone rings (It is me calling you).
I watch you walk slowly across the room, toward the phone.
You pick it up
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
I watch you turn on the light as though you can't quite see the receiver.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No Answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press another button to answer.
No answer.
Eventually it rolls over to the answering machine.
Too late.
The phone rings 30 seconds later.
Once again, I watch you pick up the phone.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No Answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press another button to answer.
No answer.
Eventually it rolls over to the answering machine again.
Too late. Again.
On the 4th call, you get it right. "Hello", you say. "Did I wake you up?", I say. "No". (and we go on as if the difficulties to answer the phone didn't happen)
********************************************
Now I know why sometimes you don't answer the phone? You try to answer but you can't figure out which button to push?
(this is why we have the old fashioned phone in the bedroom, which doesn't require any button pushing, but in the living room the wireless phone allows it to be right next to your chair, which the old fashioned phone couldn't do)
I watch you walk slowly across the room, toward the phone.
You pick it up
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
I watch you turn on the light as though you can't quite see the receiver.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No Answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press another button to answer.
No answer.
Eventually it rolls over to the answering machine.
Too late.
The phone rings 30 seconds later.
Once again, I watch you pick up the phone.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No Answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press the button to answer.
No answer.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
You press another button to answer.
No answer.
Eventually it rolls over to the answering machine again.
Too late. Again.
On the 4th call, you get it right. "Hello", you say. "Did I wake you up?", I say. "No". (and we go on as if the difficulties to answer the phone didn't happen)
********************************************
Now I know why sometimes you don't answer the phone? You try to answer but you can't figure out which button to push?
(this is why we have the old fashioned phone in the bedroom, which doesn't require any button pushing, but in the living room the wireless phone allows it to be right next to your chair, which the old fashioned phone couldn't do)
Saturday, November 15, 2014
what we find in the refrigerator
It be might a pamphlet that arrived with the meals on wheels
It might be the packages of animal crackers that I left out on the counter, to remind you that you had treats
It might be the packages of animal crackers that I left out on the counter, to remind you that you had treats
Thursday, November 13, 2014
The phone in the bathroom doesn't work
I call you on the phone. "Hello! How are you today?"
You hesitate. And then you say, with obvious distress, "The phone in the bathroom doesn't work".
"The phone in the bathroom?", I say. "There isn't a phone in the bathroom".
"Yes there is", you reply. "there are several"
"I don't think so", I say. "I am on my way to your place, I will be there in 10 minutes, and we can look at it then".
"Get Bruce to come." you say, "I need him to fix it.".
What could this be, I think to myself? Do I dare go there alone, after the negative commentary about me following the donut event? He is obviously confused. I call Bruce and ask him to meet me there.
We arrive, to the continued smell of burnt plastic in the air, now 3 days after the donut event. The look in your eye scares me a little bit.
The bathroom sink cabinet door is open, with the contents of cleaning solution, removed, sitting on the bathroom floor.
Your rotary style electric razor sits on the countertop, disassembled. The sink drain stopper, removed, sits adjacent to the razor head parts. You continue to obsess about the razor parts on the countertop, and about the visible sink drain base (a normal part of the drain, but that you had worried about and tried to remove from the kitchen sink last summer)
Now I think I understand? The "phone" in the bathroom is actually your electric razor?
You then state "the phone numbers don't work.". "None of the phone numbers work." As you repeat similar statements I realize you are talking about the phone numbers that are written on the refrigerator, my phone number, my cell phone, my office phone, Bruce's phone number. I also discover that the receiver for the phone in the dining room is missing. The receiver for the phone in the living room is off the hook. I test them, everything works normally.
Bruce re-assembles the electric razor.
"Don't worry dad. Everything is going to be OK. There's nothing you need to worry about".
For the first time I see a slight smile of relief and comfort.
******************************************************
What you meant to say was you were unable to use the electric razor in the bathroom, and when you went to call me to complain about it, you were also unable to use the phone.
You hesitate. And then you say, with obvious distress, "The phone in the bathroom doesn't work".
"The phone in the bathroom?", I say. "There isn't a phone in the bathroom".
"Yes there is", you reply. "there are several"
"I don't think so", I say. "I am on my way to your place, I will be there in 10 minutes, and we can look at it then".
"Get Bruce to come." you say, "I need him to fix it.".
What could this be, I think to myself? Do I dare go there alone, after the negative commentary about me following the donut event? He is obviously confused. I call Bruce and ask him to meet me there.
We arrive, to the continued smell of burnt plastic in the air, now 3 days after the donut event. The look in your eye scares me a little bit.
The bathroom sink cabinet door is open, with the contents of cleaning solution, removed, sitting on the bathroom floor.
Your rotary style electric razor sits on the countertop, disassembled. The sink drain stopper, removed, sits adjacent to the razor head parts. You continue to obsess about the razor parts on the countertop, and about the visible sink drain base (a normal part of the drain, but that you had worried about and tried to remove from the kitchen sink last summer)
Now I think I understand? The "phone" in the bathroom is actually your electric razor?
You then state "the phone numbers don't work.". "None of the phone numbers work." As you repeat similar statements I realize you are talking about the phone numbers that are written on the refrigerator, my phone number, my cell phone, my office phone, Bruce's phone number. I also discover that the receiver for the phone in the dining room is missing. The receiver for the phone in the living room is off the hook. I test them, everything works normally.
Bruce re-assembles the electric razor.
"Don't worry dad. Everything is going to be OK. There's nothing you need to worry about".
For the first time I see a slight smile of relief and comfort.
******************************************************
What you meant to say was you were unable to use the electric razor in the bathroom, and when you went to call me to complain about it, you were also unable to use the phone.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Pen in my pocket
What's that spot on your pants?
Its a 3 cm diameter spot of dried blood, dotted onto the surface of the right knee.
Where did it come from?
Oh NO!! What happened to your hand?
The hand is caked in dried and gelatinous blood -- a 1 cm superficial laceration continuing to ooze.
"I had a pen in my pocket", he said.
The parchment skin of the frail old man could't withstand the friction of the pants pocket, along with the unexpected sharp point of the pen, piercing the skin.
"it bled a lot", he said.
Its a 3 cm diameter spot of dried blood, dotted onto the surface of the right knee.
Where did it come from?
Oh NO!! What happened to your hand?
The hand is caked in dried and gelatinous blood -- a 1 cm superficial laceration continuing to ooze.
"I had a pen in my pocket", he said.
The parchment skin of the frail old man could't withstand the friction of the pants pocket, along with the unexpected sharp point of the pen, piercing the skin.
"it bled a lot", he said.
I am so sorry that happened
http://seniorfraud.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-room-smells-like-smoke.html
I am so sorry that happened .... because I know what it might mean for you and I know it is not what you want or even what would be best even now, at this point.
This is not what I want for you.
Why did you try to cook today when you haven't gone near the stove or microwave in at least a month? (and why didn't I disable them before -- I know why -- because I didn't think it would come to this)
The implications are painfully clear to me instantly.
The stove and microwave need to be disabled today. Its for your safety. Its to try to help you stay here, because I know you don't want to move to a nursing home.
How am I going to deal with the Senior Building bylaws requiring one to be oriented x 3, to be able to use the appliances, to be able to manage one's affairs. Even living with you isn't enough if you burn donuts to char in the microwave when temporarily alone.
*********************************************************
"Nothing happened to that plate"
"Nothing happened to that donut", you say.
He says to the man --
"Tell HER (meaning me) not to come back " "SHE is crazy".
"I could have a truck here and move out of here by noon tomorrow" , he says.
I am so sorry that happened .... because I know what it might mean for you and I know it is not what you want or even what would be best even now, at this point.
This is not what I want for you.
Why did you try to cook today when you haven't gone near the stove or microwave in at least a month? (and why didn't I disable them before -- I know why -- because I didn't think it would come to this)
The implications are painfully clear to me instantly.
The stove and microwave need to be disabled today. Its for your safety. Its to try to help you stay here, because I know you don't want to move to a nursing home.
How am I going to deal with the Senior Building bylaws requiring one to be oriented x 3, to be able to use the appliances, to be able to manage one's affairs. Even living with you isn't enough if you burn donuts to char in the microwave when temporarily alone.
*********************************************************
"Nothing happened to that plate"
"Nothing happened to that donut", you say.
He says to the man --
"Tell HER (meaning me) not to come back " "SHE is crazy".
"I could have a truck here and move out of here by noon tomorrow" , he says.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)