Friday, February 6, 2015

empathy restored?

What a surprise yesterday when you called (which included dialing the phone all by yourself) to see how I was feeling, after I had been out sick for 4 days.

You are turning into a nice old man.

To God be the Glory.

The loss of empathy had been so apparent in the last 5+ years, I didn't expect to ever see it again.  During that time, if I got sick, or if something bad happened to me, it didn't faze you. You offered no condolences, didn't follow up, didn't give back anything.

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Loss of empathy is a common early symptom of specific forms of dementia, including the kind I think you have, which also included as earlier symptoms,  poor judgment, loss of insight.

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how much of this improvement in empathy is due to the fact you are getting coffee every morning since we hired a personal care attendant? Or is it due to the stabilizing impact/ improvement in all aspects of your well-being due to having the perfect  personal care attendant, who comes for only 2 hours/day?

My conclusion would be that 2 hours/day of kind focused support, starting in the morning,  can make a huge difference in maintaining "independence", and regaining empathy (humanity),  for a person with dementia (who would otherwise require assisted living or memory care, assuming they aren't wandering at night and they have sufficient mobility to not require more care)

For those seeking a cost-effective elder care solution, I can highly recommend this as the lst step.  It takes the pressure off the family and keeps the person more "independent" of family as well. It is far less expensive than an assisted living facility or nursing home, and YOU are the boss.

there are 2 caveats:
1.   we switch the appliance electricity on and off (discretely), so that you can't use the stove/ oven or microwave, unassisted.
2.  I wouldn't have dared to hire an assistant (for fear of their safety) in the earlier years when you were more aggressively misbehaving.  This is working now only due to your frailty and further memory loss.  Take home message: timing is everything.

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To God be the Glory.





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